Friday, September 09, 2005

Children Are a Blessing: Part 3

I had a "Part 3" all typed up and ready to post here. How typical of me to spend a few days, sometimes more than a few days pondering, typing, backspacing, editing, and tidying up something I'd like to share here just to find myself getting rid of the whole thing entirely. I'd believed so firmly in the points I'd intended to make on my weblog; but "America's Tsunami" happened. Now new pictures dance in my head, new (or perhaps renewed) thoughts and dreams have taken over in my mind. So, here I sit, sharing my heart with you.
Have you seen the pictures posted on various news stations of children who have been separated from their parents? If so, have you wondered if these beautiful children's parents have survived? I have. I find myself saying, "Please Lord, protect this little boy's care-takers so that they can be reunited," or "Father, this little girl is looking for her mother. Please bring them together soon, and make it a joyous occasion." I hear story after story of mothers who are distraught, longing desperately to hold their small children in my arms again and I pray fervently that those little ones will be held by these mothers again. Such thoughts and prayers take my heart and mind somewhere else when it comes to children, a place I've never before visited. I've found myself wondering, "If I was separated from my children, what would their memories of me be?" Sometimes, I am so very grateful that the children and I experienced so little of Hurricane Katrina, a storm which has proven herself a living nightmare to millions of people. But there are times that I nearly feel "guilty", for lack of a better word, that I, no better than countless others who've lost their lives and/or possessions, was so greatly spared. And then, I look into the ten little eyes which were formed in my womb and say to myself, "These children were created for a purpose which is greater than me, which is greater than Hurricane Katrina, which is greater than anything that I can fathom." So, I thank my Lord for entrusting them, for sparing us, for giving me the opportunity and high calling to raise these little people up to serve Him.
I have to be honest here. My life hasn't been Christ-focused as it should be. It's been very Me-focused. I put "Me" in caps because that's how I've treated myself. I don't merely want children who grow up to be responsible citizens who do more good than bad. I don't merely want children who grow up and can say, "Boy, I had a good mom!" I want my children to grow up to have been equipped in the Word of God to share the truth of Christ with those around them. I know that it is my responsibility to be a godly example of the kind of woman I was created to be. I am certain that God will and does enable me to be what he has called me to be for the sake of my children, for the sake of my Lord. He is faithful, he is my Lord.
I've spent months being perhaps more concerned w/ earthly happiness and success in my new-found career than I have on Christ. He is so good to me. Now, I must back-track, I must find it within me to make unselfish decisions, I must fully manage my time to the very best that I am able. I must make sure that my "Mom-time" (the time that I spend away from my children to refresh and re-group) is well-spent, that when I'm having that time, I'm not losing my eternal perspective. And I must admit that I have for quite some time. Sure to the outside world, those who do not truly share my faith, I'm a good mom, a dedicated worker, a good friend and an all round good person. But the truth is, my Christ-centeredness has waned. And as a mother blessed with five beautiful children who love me "more than chocolate pudding" (as we often tell each other at the beginning and end of each day), that's not an option. Being a Christ-centered person will make me a Christ-centered mom and being a Christ-centered mom and being a Christ-centered mom is the very best that I can be for myself and for my children. So, here I stand committed to forsaking that which I have been called to forsake for the sake of my children, for the love of my God and for the peace which I know is available to me as I rest in Christ.
Within the next few days, I will post a bit more from God's Word regarding this. In the meantime, I ask my brothers and sisters in Christ who are reading this to pray with and for me as I seek to be the godly woman I've been called to be, as I muster up the intestinal fortitude to turn my back on the sinful ways which so strongly pull me and and as I long to keep my face turned toward my Lord.

With much love,
Gretchen <><


Anonymous Jason said...

It says alot about a person when they allow themselves to be transparent and let people see what is normally kept behind closed doors. Talking about love for your children is something that most people can very easily do. But when it comes to discussing your own perceived shortcomings, most would deny they exist let alone display them openly. But when you are openly honest before God, other people's opinions don't carry as much weight as they might have before. Thank you for this reminder.
God can use the tests and trials that come to teach us and train us, if we have "ears to hear." Sometimes He will run along side of us like a father teaching a child to ride a bike. He puts one hand on the handlebars and helps us steer while we are learning balance and proper speed and direction. And when we fall and scrape our knee as He already knows we will, He wipes away the tears, picks us up, comforts us, and helps us get right back on again. So even when a Katrina comes through our life and destroys everything we hold dear, when we have the proper foundation, you will always be able to rebuild successfully.
When I read you posting, one scripture came to my mind that will hopefully give you some comfort. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says, "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." Other translations say, "whose heart is blameless before Him", "whose hearts are fully committed to Him." The point is that God isn't looking for our perfection or our "good works." He's looking for a heart that wants Him. Those are the people that God will strengthen and show Himself strong and faithful to. So fortunately, you are right where you need to be.

9:36 AM, September 13, 2005  
Anonymous mike said...

hey you - glad you and your family are ok.

just wanted to say hello.

1:59 PM, October 14, 2005  

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