Children Are a Blessing: Part1

I'm not the only mom walking around with more children than most can remember the names of who routinely hears, "Are all of these yours?," "Boy! You have your hands full!," "Don't you know what stops that?," "Haven't you figured out what causes that?," "You've got to be out of your mind!," "Better you than me," "Maybe you oughta take up watching t.v.," "Didn't you have other hobbies?," And the list goes on and on and on...

Now that I'm doing the whole single mom thing, I find myself hearing all sorts of things that are even more shocking than before. Seeing me with five children in tow, complete strangers, after asking if all of the children are mine, will ask if they all have the same father. This is most often asked in front of my children (who all have the same father). One man once joked (and it wasn't the least bit funny) that he could see why my husband would seek a way out of the madness of a home full of rugrats. Of course, there are times when such comments are infuriating, but for the most part such comments are far from shocking. "Why?," some may ask... Well, generally, people do not see children as a blessing. The general view of children is that one or two children is more than enough for anyone and that children are a burden.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting more on the weblog concerning my experience with children, why I believe children are a blessing and not a burden and why and how I believe that people should change their attitudes toward children.

I'm looking forward to writing more and reading the feedback from readers. Thanks to all of you who encourage me, give feedback, and cheer me on in this journey of life I'm on.

Well, here I was feeling a bit weak and sick, air conditioning not working in the van, financial stresses weighing on me, stomach virus traveling from child to child, getting on the scale to see I'd put on some unwanted pounds... Things just aren't the way I've been planning them out to be. I've had a difficult time doing much of what I ought to do and that includes parenting. Not a depressed state, just a "I'm tired and want a rest" state of mind.

During the few days that I was out of sorts, I did some lazy parenting... Instead of going to my children to address their running in the house, I said, "Hey kids, be quiet and watch television." Instead of reading their routine bedtime stories, singing their favorite songs, and praying with them before tucking them in, I popped in a movie, called, "Hey, after your movie, turn off the television and go to bed." One press of the power button and the active, noisy, chaos around me was silenced.

So, how has this affected the children? Well, I know that the kids are arguing more lately, grumbling about the chores they need to help with to keep the house running smoothly, whining a bit more than normal, and less and less willing to interact with each other. It's not like I'm sitting here thinking, "Oh no!! I've destroyed my children." I've been especially blessed to have children who are obedient, respectful, fun, and a true joy. At the risk of sounding like the doting mother, I hesitantly say that my children are some of the most well behaved children that I know. At the same time, I realize that I may not be singing the same tune if I don't return to my "old ways" when it comes to parenting.

Now, someone reading this probably has already thought, "Well, Gretchen, you have five children who you are trying to raise alone. Don't be hard on yourself." Well, I'm not being hard on myself. Plain and simple observation being made here. No doubt in my mind on this next statement. If I continue to allow my five little ones to vegetate in front of the television, I'm going to pay dearly later on.

Children MUST learn to entertain themselves without video games, television and computers. They need to play outside, build things, draw things, write things, be silly together, do chores, interact with the children and adults around them, etc. If they don't, they will not be able to cope with the stresses of everyday life, they will be unwilling and/or possible inept when it comes to interacting with those around them. And my job as a single mom will be that much harder down the line.

Am I going to get rid of my television? NO. Am I going to threaten to throw the television out of the window if the kids have one more argument? Absolutely not! Will I unplug the television or disconnect the cable and then tell the children that the television is broken? Though I've considered it, it's just not happening.

What I will do is take the time each day to make sure that the children are doing something other than watch television. I will, once again, limit the amount of time the children are allowed to watch television. When children watch an minimal amount of television, they learn to do cooperate with each other, to use their imaginations, to create things, to play games, to enjoy reading a book... And I have the peaceful atmosphere that I long for.

Well, that's my thoughts for now. More to come later.

~Gretchen