Friday, September 09, 2005

Children Are a Blessing: Part 3

I had a "Part 3" all typed up and ready to post here. How typical of me to spend a few days, sometimes more than a few days pondering, typing, backspacing, editing, and tidying up something I'd like to share here just to find myself getting rid of the whole thing entirely. I'd believed so firmly in the points I'd intended to make on my weblog; but "America's Tsunami" happened. Now new pictures dance in my head, new (or perhaps renewed) thoughts and dreams have taken over in my mind. So, here I sit, sharing my heart with you.
Have you seen the pictures posted on various news stations of children who have been separated from their parents? If so, have you wondered if these beautiful children's parents have survived? I have. I find myself saying, "Please Lord, protect this little boy's care-takers so that they can be reunited," or "Father, this little girl is looking for her mother. Please bring them together soon, and make it a joyous occasion." I hear story after story of mothers who are distraught, longing desperately to hold their small children in my arms again and I pray fervently that those little ones will be held by these mothers again. Such thoughts and prayers take my heart and mind somewhere else when it comes to children, a place I've never before visited. I've found myself wondering, "If I was separated from my children, what would their memories of me be?" Sometimes, I am so very grateful that the children and I experienced so little of Hurricane Katrina, a storm which has proven herself a living nightmare to millions of people. But there are times that I nearly feel "guilty", for lack of a better word, that I, no better than countless others who've lost their lives and/or possessions, was so greatly spared. And then, I look into the ten little eyes which were formed in my womb and say to myself, "These children were created for a purpose which is greater than me, which is greater than Hurricane Katrina, which is greater than anything that I can fathom." So, I thank my Lord for entrusting them, for sparing us, for giving me the opportunity and high calling to raise these little people up to serve Him.
I have to be honest here. My life hasn't been Christ-focused as it should be. It's been very Me-focused. I put "Me" in caps because that's how I've treated myself. I don't merely want children who grow up to be responsible citizens who do more good than bad. I don't merely want children who grow up and can say, "Boy, I had a good mom!" I want my children to grow up to have been equipped in the Word of God to share the truth of Christ with those around them. I know that it is my responsibility to be a godly example of the kind of woman I was created to be. I am certain that God will and does enable me to be what he has called me to be for the sake of my children, for the sake of my Lord. He is faithful, he is my Lord.
I've spent months being perhaps more concerned w/ earthly happiness and success in my new-found career than I have on Christ. He is so good to me. Now, I must back-track, I must find it within me to make unselfish decisions, I must fully manage my time to the very best that I am able. I must make sure that my "Mom-time" (the time that I spend away from my children to refresh and re-group) is well-spent, that when I'm having that time, I'm not losing my eternal perspective. And I must admit that I have for quite some time. Sure to the outside world, those who do not truly share my faith, I'm a good mom, a dedicated worker, a good friend and an all round good person. But the truth is, my Christ-centeredness has waned. And as a mother blessed with five beautiful children who love me "more than chocolate pudding" (as we often tell each other at the beginning and end of each day), that's not an option. Being a Christ-centered person will make me a Christ-centered mom and being a Christ-centered mom and being a Christ-centered mom is the very best that I can be for myself and for my children. So, here I stand committed to forsaking that which I have been called to forsake for the sake of my children, for the love of my God and for the peace which I know is available to me as I rest in Christ.
Within the next few days, I will post a bit more from God's Word regarding this. In the meantime, I ask my brothers and sisters in Christ who are reading this to pray with and for me as I seek to be the godly woman I've been called to be, as I muster up the intestinal fortitude to turn my back on the sinful ways which so strongly pull me and and as I long to keep my face turned toward my Lord.

With much love,
Gretchen <><

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Katrina isn't over

For anyone who follows my weblog and has wondered how I'm doing, I want to let you know that I'm doing just fine. The kids and I are safe and have running water and electricity. They are out of school til next week, but safe and secure. I am back at work along with most of the rest of the employees at the company. I don't know if I can give you an entirely good report though. It seems like the hurricane is not over. Sure, it's sunny outside and there's barely even a breeze in the air, but I don't know if my parents are okay. The high-crime inner city New Orleans residents have moved in to our community and are looting, car-jacking, and creating a sense of fear amongst the residents who've welcomed them. Most of the other employees where I work are without power and some have completely lost everything. So many of us can use our phones to find out about other family members or to let loved-ones know that we are okay.
As for me, I'm very concerned about my parents. My parents in Mississippi decided not to evacuate the Gulf Coast in spite of the pleading with other family members otherwise. Finally Tuesday night, I learned that they were alive and well. What I don't know is if they had provision. I do know that they are likely isolated from others. I'm in the dark as to whether or not they are able to get water, food, or fuel. They have no electricity; so, they likely haven't a clue as to the devastation around them. Can you imagine not knowing that entire metropolitan areas near you have been wiped out completely? I also have parents in St. Tammany Parish. My guess is that they're alright, but I just don't know. They went to the hospital where my step-mother works for shelter. I'm hopeful that they are okay, but just do not know. My guess is that my family in St. Tammany Parish and in Mississippi have lost everything. So, to say that it is bitter-sweet that I'm in a large cozy house with electricity, clean water, internet access, and working phones is much more than an understatement.